Friday, April 6, 2012

Uninvited Guests!


Having thoroughly enjoyed ten days with my nephew and his girlfriend staying in our apartment, the subject of uninvited guests came up. I’m not talking about acquaintances begging a bed for the night en route to the airport, but guests of the supernatural kind.

Our apartment has a long, narrow hallway—ideal for playing skittles—at the end of which is our bedroom. For the past few weeks I’d felt a curious heaviness outside the bedroom door. I didn’t think any more of it until my nephew (age 21) said, “I know you might think me a weirdo but you’ve got a ghost in your apartment.” He then told me where. You’ve guessed! At the end of the hallway! AND THEN … my husband sheepishly admitted that he’d felt a “presence” looming over him in bed and a very cold draft. He’d not been able to sleep for weeks.

A quick chat to our friend Ben Scuglia aka pet psychic and medium (hey! I live in LA) who advised us to lay down a few house rules—no visiting whilst we’re in the shower etc.—and our uninvited guest disappeared. I never found out who it was.

This experience reminded me of something that happened in England when I moved to a 16th century cottage next to the churchyard in Chailey Green, Sussex. The photo here was taken before my time in the early 1900’s. However, not much has changed—except for the cow.


My eight-year-old daughter and I lived in the left cottage and a lay preacher lived on the right. He told us quite cheerfully, that if we “saw a shadow” floating about at night, the shadow’s name was Thomas Jeffery who used to be the butcher there and to say “hello.” Thomas was actually buried in the churchyard. Here is his epitaph:

Sacred
To the Memory
Of
Thomas Jeffery
Who died 18th October 1852
Aged 18 Years
When pursuing his trade as a butcher
His knife slipped and
Severed the main artery of his thigh
After which he lived only one hour.
Thus suddenly in God’s providence
Was this young communicant taken
To his rest.

I thought no more of it. Two years went by until one dark and stormy night, I had just been unceremoniously dumped by my boyfriend at the time and was vacuuming furiously at midnight, cursing, crying, flinging myself all over the furniture etc. Thinking back, I must have disturbed something in the ether.

At exactly 4 am (I checked) I was awoken by a curious yowling sound coming from my daughter’s bedroom – she was away at the time. Believing there was a rogue cat inside my cottage that was tormenting my own kitty, I went to investigate.

The room was so cold that I could see my breath. Rosie, my poor cat was terrified. So much was her fright that she had suffered a chronic diarrhea attack and was utterly paralyzed. She was staring into the corner that used to house the original staircase. Rosie’s eyes were bulging and her fur and tail bristled. When I followed her gaze I thought I’d die of fright myself.

A shadowy form filled the doorway. It was a fuzz of black molecules in the outline of a tall man that I can only liken to the energy pattern depicted in the transporter chamber in Star Trek. I knew immediately it was Thomas.

I prayed. It was all I could think to do—forget about having a friendly chat! Finally, after a good half hour (yes, I checked), he vanished. I never saw him again but he stayed around.

For the next three months, strange things started to happen. All the taps would turn on throughout the cottage at the same time; lights would flip on in the middle of the day and cupboards, dry with no water pipes anywhere, would have inexplicable pools of clear liquid on the floor or even soak a piece of clothing on a coat hanger.

After a while, I couldn’t handle it, nor could my daughter or my cat. Eventually, I called in the help of a spiritual group who conducted an exorcism of sorts with beautiful songs and soothing music. Thomas left.

Up until that experience, I never believed in ghostly visitors. It was a life changing experience for me and one I think, now makes me receptive to uninvited guests just passing through. 

Friday, February 10, 2012

My Early Morning Mews

The other day a friend of mine asked me about my morning writing routine. I explained that it was really boring but she insisted that I tell her all the tiny details.

So here it is ... I set my alarm for 5:15 AM. (It will be moved to 4:15 AM next month as I get closer to my mid-April deadline). I don't have any problem getting up at all mainly because I used to keep horses when I was a teenager and was always getting up early. In those days my alarm clock was the old-fashioned clanging bell variety that used to throw me out of bed in a state of numb shock. At least now my BlackBerry alarm is a gentle ocean sound that slowly gets louder. Usually I'm awake before the alarm and find I am already thinking about my plot.

Next, I throw on my old green sweater on top of my pajamas. It's my lucky writing sweater and full of holes but I don't care. I add thick socks and fingerless gloves and creep out of our bedroom to Mr. Tig's (the cat) "room." It's actually my husband's office but has been officially taken over by the real man of the house. Mr. Tig is a notoriously light sleeper and at the first sound of me stirring, he's waiting by the door grumbling and complaining as usual. I know it's cruel to keep him closed in at night but he's impossible to sleep with and believe me, my husband and I have tried.

Mr. Tig and I pad into the kitchen where I give him his breakfast, take my supplements (I told you this is boring) and make a cup of coffee. A few months ago Nikki Bonanni who runs The Killer Coffee Club suggested I buy a Keurig coffee maker, a classy Krupps coffee grinder and reusable K-cups. The K-cups are perfect to satisfy my early morning coffee addiction - fresh every time! I'm very particular about my coffee. French Roast is my favorite.

THEN Mr. Tig and I go to The Rug. This is his very own rug (torn to shreds) that the lovely Joanne O'Brien who runs Sittin' Kitty in Los Angeles had to give him after his last stay with her. I brandish The Love Glove and give Mr. Tig some serious loving for about ten minutes.

Mr. Tig and I then retire to our pretty yellow love seat where I sit with my laptop and he snuggles next to me kneading a scrap of sheep fleece from Yorkshire. I write for a good two hours before jumping into the shower and going to work.

And that's my morning routine. I really couldn't do it without coffee or my cat. 

video
And this is why we do not sleep with Mr. Tig. Remember to turn up the sound.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Keeping A Stiff Upper Lip

My pins are out but my thumb and forefinger seem to have gone into rigamortis. For some reason I assumed I would be able to drive, cook, dress myself and type feverishly on a computer keyboard.

I have weeks of horrible physiotherapy ahead (and those exercises really hurt) - but I am back at work and keeping a stiff upper lip in true English fashion.

What is the definition of a stiff upper lip?  "To face misfortune bravely" or "to suppress the display of any emotion." In my case, it's the former and not the latter. Ask my husband.

The origins of the stiff upper lip date back to the 1800's. The phrase traditionally has been used to describe an attribute of the British people (the class above stairs if you are following Downton Abbey). However, rumor has it (thank you Wikipedia) that its earliest known example came from a publication called the "Massachusetts Spy" for 14 June 1815. "I kept a stiff upper lip, and bought license to sell my goods."

So why just the upper lip and not the lower? Maybe it had something to do with the enormous mustaches most men sported in those days making the top lip more noticeable when quivering.